A New Mall Patterned After The Old One Where We Used To Shop

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Any minute now the LDS Church will be falling all over itself announcing its big plans for downtown Salt Lake City. The local press will lap it up and kiss their asses. Mormons everywhere will gloat at the depth of their church's pockets. Even the mayor of Salt Lake, a former Mormon who has, on occasion, not seen eye to eye with the LDS Church, has become Bishop H. David Burton's lap dog on this one. Money talks.

In many ways this is a good thing. Investing two billion dollars (you heard me right) into downtown anywhere by anyone at all is good for the local economy. The blocks surrounding Temple Square are in desperate need of re-gentrification and I, for one, am glad to see someone step to the plate. There is no doubt the finished product will be first-rate and world-class.

There are some points to be made here though.

Church leadership has been deliberate to point out that "no tithing funds are being used" in the building of this project.

Bullshit.

While the specific dollars being spent may have, most recently, come from other Church-operated investments, that money DID AT ONE POINT come from the pockets of the faithful. Many of whom sacrificed to pay. Personally, I don't care if tithing is spent on malls. It isn't MY tithing. Where I get upset is the idea that we are too stupid to know better.

Another point towards that end that the LDS Church has made is that this project is not being handled by the church directly but by its business interests. I fail to see the difference. When I see the Presiding Bishop and the President of the Church signing all the checks, approving all the plans, and making all the announcements, I know, as they want me to, that THEY are in charge of the project. So, while these are not church funds being spent they are church-leadership-controlled funds. Same difference.

The reason they try so hard to make this distinction however should also be pointed out. The reason is this: It seems ridiculous to put the words "Gospel of Jesus Christ" and "Two Billion Dollar Mall" in the same breath and they know it.

Another beef I have. No stores on church-owned property will be open on Sundays. I respect the right of private property owners to run their businesses as they see fit. I have no moral or ethical issue with this in specific. Where I have a problem is with the reaction to legitimate complaint.

Opponents say, "We want to shop downtown on Sundays. This is our city too and we want to enjoy it". The church and its supporters respond, "You'll have to take your business elsewhere on Sunday". This is a fine sentiment until you realize that you may have to walk a mile in any direction before being able to even see property not owned by the LDS Church, let alone shop there. That is, if surrounding businesses haven't just been shut down due to the 2-billion dollar competitor that just moved into town.

One commenter on a local discussion board asked an opponent of the plan, "If you hate Salt Lake so much, why don't you move?"

My response to that is, "I don't hate Salt Lake. I love where I live and want MY city to reflect MY values as well as the values of others. If you hate ME so much why don't YOU move?"

For the most part the whole thing makes me laugh. I think it is more than obvious how ridiculous the church looks running around acting, in all seriousness and reverence, like building malls is the work of Jesus Christ. I think this project epitomizes the inferiority complex and resulting piousness typical of the Mormon church. They are like a small man in a giant truck. As if building a mall in edifice to God will finally get people to take them seriously.

I can't wait to hear my in-laws bear testimony of the wonderfulness of this temple of commerce. "See how great and spacious Jesus' mall is? Isn't it a marvelous work and a wonder?"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a cash machine. I need to have some money changed so I can buy an Orange Julius.

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Permanent Link: A New Mall Patterned After The Old One Where We Used To Shop
Filed under: Mormonism

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