What I Did Over Conference Weekend

Monday, October 2, 2006

As an ex-Mormon blogger, I suppose I'm somewhat obligated to share with you my General Conference weekend experiences. Let me begin by warning you that I watched exactly no sessions this year. So if you're expecting a recap, rebuttal, or my opinion on the speakers or topics, sorry.

Ok, I guess I didn't totally avoid Conference. The girl at the gas station where I bought coffee Sunday morning happened to have the radio on behind the counter (by the way, if you are selling coffee to apostates on a Sunday AND listening to GC, you should fully expect me to tease you and you should just smile and nod) so I did happen to catch a few minutes of Hinckley's address. It seems that the mouthpiece of God on Earth, in these trying times, yea even the end of days had some words of revelation and inspiration to the Saints.

That's right, the Prophet of God, through the power of modern revelation, gave us an update on the $1.5 billion downtown Salt Lake redevelopment project the LDS Church is undertaking. I guess God is so impressed with the plan that he touched Gordon's heart to spread the word. Oh, also, he gave us a full report on his continued health and longevity. Wahoo. Oh yeah, and stay off the Internet, the devil lives there. This is just what the world needs today, a geriatric, technophobic, real-estate mogul. That's what Jesus wants me to be, I just know it.

For real fun this weekend I did man stuff. I tore out a dumpster-load of drywall. I installed new plumbing for a toilet, shower and sink in an unfinished bathroom. I used a borrowed saw to cut tile from around a closet flange. I replaced two sprinkler heads. I watched Boise State hand the Utes their lunch in a paper sack, steal the lunch back from them then beat them up for their milk money.

In other words, for me, this weekend was very much like every other. I hope yours was the same.

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