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And The Winner Of The 2006 Miss Fortune Pageant Is...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Donna and I scored some free tickets to a sporting event featuring our local National Basketball Association franchise at the now-most-poorly-named-arena-in-the-entire-world. The benefactor of the tickets also hooked us up with some food vouchers, redeemable at any of the concessions in the building.

Living on the edge as we do, we instinctively went for oriental-ish food. Rice and noodle bowls with less-than-authentically-prepared pork bits and chicken gristle. Mmm meat parts.

Since this is a first-class establishment, a fortune cookie was naturally included in the swanky plastic cutlery pack. At the end of our meal, which we ate off our laps at our seats (elevation 8947'), we traded fortune cookies, as is our custom.

"I sure hope it doesn't tell you to leave me", I quipped, half joking.

Trading me in for a newer model?
Trading me in for a newer model?

"Hmm, that's not promising. Maybe it's talking about your underwear", I joked.

"Alright, open yours, smart guy", she prodded. Of all the silly and supernatural things Donna believes in, fortune cookies aren't one of them. Still, even though she doesn't take them seriously, she really always seems to get a kick out of things like fortune cookies, love meters, horoscopes and other fortune-telling novelties.

I can't say I blame her. I've always enjoyed adding "In the bathtub" to the end of my cookie fortunes.

I opened mine and read it to myself first. If I were inclined to superstition and belief in soothsaying, I would have been extremely troubled by what I read.

At least the bastards were nice enough to include my lucky numbers.
At least the bastards were nice enough to include my lucky numbers.

We did put new polar fleece sheets on the bed when we got home. That IS a change for the better and nearly as important an event as I've been a part of in a long time.

See, fortune cookies are true.

Actually, if they were worth a shit, they would have told Donna something like "TAKE THE FLIRTY, TWENTY-ONE YEAR OLD, BI-CURIOUS GIRLS SITTING ON THE ROW IN FRONT OF YOU HOME FOR THE NIGHT". That's probably just a tad too long for them to have put in the cookie or they would have, I'm sure.

Permanent Link: And The Winner Of The 2006 Miss Fortune Pageant Is...
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