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Night School
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Sometime around midnight Donna and I heard a voice from the doorway of our bedroom, "Mom... Dad... hey..."
It was our twelve-year-old daughter, Megan. We hadn't noticed her come into the room as I had been busy under the covers gently, yet firmly pressure testing Donna's bartholin's glands and she was preoccupied moaning and begging me to, and I quote, "hurry up and stick it in [her]". One thing we were certain of is that Megan had been standing there a little longer than any of us would have liked.
"Get the hell out of here!" I instantly reacted.
"And close the door behind you!" followed Donna, catching her breath.
I have no idea how much our little girl knows about S. E. X. I have a suspicion that it is more than I want to believe, FAR more than Donna would like to believe but still a healthy distance from complete. This is as it should be, she's twelve. We know we can't stop her from finding out more than we could imagine being comfortable with but we had at least hoped she would have picked up most of the details from... well...I don't know... somewhere other than the open doorway of our bedroom.
This morning, when I asked Megan about what happened, she played dumb. "I don't even remember going to your room last night, daddy."
"I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you and you didn't do anything wrong."
"Whatever, Dad. Can you correct my math?"
Ah, at least I managed to successfully teach her denial... or at least lying. Either way, she's well-equiped and I was happy to have the subject changed.
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Filed under: Donna | Family | Favorites | Sex
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Talkr | 5894 readsShe knows
I'm guessing your daughter knows a LOT more than you think or want her to know about S.E.X. I watched a documentary once that put the average age kids lose their virginity is 13. That's the AVERAGE age. Yikes. Not saying anything about your daughter specifically, just that kids these days know a lot and many have seen porn at a very young age due to easy access on the internet, and they talk.
In the Know
I think kids should be armed with all knowledge way ahead of time. It is sad that some people feel that knowing everything is bad. I think the more they know at like 9 and older the better. It prepares a child for a situation they may be in where they will want to know what is at stake. If you love your children and care about their development why not over equip them. Sure it may be awkward to teach them but they will be far better off and maybe even more ready to talk about what happens to them, to alert parents to any hint of inappropriate behavior by peers or anyone else. What if the subject of reflective clothing and crosswalks were "uncomfortable" and we sent our children out into traffic with no guidance...this subject of their development may be even more serious and important, so give them a chance.
Wait, I may have been wrong...
It just occurred to me, Pete, that if your daughter already knew all about sex, she might not have interrupted you two in the act.
Or maybe she does know, and the thought of it made her want to interrupt/stop that disgusting thing from continuing. (Insert Eeewww! in a 12 year old voice.)
Ahh!
At least you know from now on to keep your door closed (and locked!).
I've been in that same predicament...thankfully, my son(s) are still a little too young to be scarred for life! At least i hope so anyway! (they're ages 4 and almost 3)
I definitely agree with an above commenter who said that the more info they have, the better. And given the 'average' age kids lose their v-card nowadays...which is both shocking and devastating at the same time...12 seems like a good age to get it all out in the open...no matter how awkward.
*Danny* also made a very good point with the traffic analogy. As parents we need to be as open with our kids and prepare them for the future as best we can. Whether that's how to cross the street or HOW NOT TO HAVE SEX UNTIL THEY'RE 30(!), it needs to be talked about.
Good Luck :)
P.S. And don't forget to tell us how it goes, lol! I'm dreading the day when i have to talk to my boys about S.E.X.
My 9 year old will catch us
My 9 year old will catch us kissing as say eww, gross are you going to have sex. I must say that my husbands is in the medical arena and has sat him down with charts, diagrams, and books to explain sex. For us it was not a choice! Ole grammy left the cinemax on with the kids camped out on the floor. When we got back my oldest was enjoying a psuedo porn film!!
Be glad she is older and it wasn't some cheesy couple romping on a wet beach!!
Just think of it as birth control!!
Investing
I think it is time to invest in a great lock... :) My cousin walked in on her parents 4 times when she was in high school. Not a good thing for anyone involved.
Your daughter
Either your daughter was sleep walking or like all children she refuses to believe the evil myth that "parents... you know.. Do IT!"
Way back when, my then ~5yo
Way back when, my then ~5yo daughter entered our bedroom while "I had been busy under the covers gently, yet firmly pressure testing" The Wicked Bitch's "bartholin's glands". She asked what we were doing, and "playing hide'n'seek" was the first brilliant response I could come up with. She is now married and the mother of three, so I presume she knows something about S.E.X.(not that I want to know that she knows).
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Yikes!
I admit to having to look up "Bartholin's gland" (in more ways than one!). Did you see the sketch they're using? Was that vagina in a train wreck?