Do You Think You Are Who They Say You Are?

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

My aunt, BA has tickets to Jesus Christ Superstar because she subscribes to the Broadway Across America theater series. She's not using the seats for this show though because... you know... Jesus hates rock music and gay people.

As soon as she figured it was offensive enough to miss, she immediately figured I would want them... you know... so I could worship the devil at intermission with the other sinners, or whatever.

I took the tickets.

My mother, the family ticket broker, picked up the tickets and delivered them to me last night. The seats also include a "complimentary water bottle" coupon with each seat. Nice. Blasphemy makes me thirsty.

As I am examining the tickets to be sure they aren't counterfeit, my mom says, "BA says you are welcome to use the complimentary water bottle coupons but if you don't use them...she would like them back."

"She wants the water coupons back? Is it bottles of the water Jesus walked on or something?"

Two hundred dollars worth of unused theater tickets and she wants 4 water bottles... just in case. I'm pretty damn sure they have a drinking fountain in the lobby if rations run short at the next show. Besides, she'll probably just walk out at intermission, offended at the language, like she usually does.

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