Now this is an irony: Ultimate respect must be paid to the family unit and the father as the head of the family; Unless (said quickly and under one's breath) that father disagrees with the teachings of the Charch. In that case, screw the father, and keep him out of anything that has to do with his children.

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http://www.signifyingnothing.com/clint

you could be angry at:

marie: she didn't consult you about her being baptized but she probably knew what you'd tell her.

donna: she didn't let you in on the discussions but she probably knew that you'd try to talk marie out of it.

the lds peeps: they made baptism into this supercool thing that all kids should do and likely put serious pressure on marie to go through with it. oh yeah... you've terminated parental rights in the church by leaving since you're now a heathen.

a question though: would you go if you knew the date?

When I baptized my younger son (from my current marriage) I totally consulted with his dad. Granted, my son was a baby and didn't have "decision making" power but his dad does not subscribe to my (non LDS) beliefs and I respected his role as dad. He in fact agreed that I could have my son baptized. He did not attend, but that was ok, and he continues to support me teaching my side of things.

I have defended Donna before to myself and on comments, but I can't on this one. Totally unacceptable.

If you don't go, I'd be darned sure Marie understood why.

Mmm, I gotta say, she's only 8. Granted, sounds like she's deliberately (trying) to keep under your radar, but it's unlikely she's not talking to you about it out of instinct...someone told her to keep it quiet. I'm new here and I haven't had a chance to read much of your archives (yet!) but have you talked to your wife about how your not being a part of LDS does NOT exclude you from your children's religious upbringing? And how do you feel about it? Knowing the high pressure religion that LDS is, do you want your kids brought up that way?

I made the decision (along with my still christian but no longer catholic husband) that if our kid wants to be catholic fine, but he can make that decision when he's older, we're not putting him into now. We're not on the same page religion wise, but we're still making the decisions for our kids together...and you deserve that opportunity too.

Pete, I wouldn't necessarily assume (though you know far better than I) that formal discussions have taken place. If this is a "cool" thing to do, Marie may have been bragging to fit in. You may (in my hissy opinion should) address this with your wife. But again, you know better than I do on this subject and definitely know better about how to keep your marriage intact and I know that is important to you.

Just my two cents. Cheers.

Marie is wrong..
even if you don't agree with what she's doing..
she should run it buy you and talk it over.

Not hide it like a bad mistake a child made, afraid their parents would punish them.

I just made that up. cha ching!

Ummm, I have an idea here. Why don't you simply use your parental rights and say no. Problem solved, no more complaining, no big deal, your rights are still in tact. Man, that was a tough one to figure out.