Trust me, though I've had a 13 year, really happy marriage with no infidelities there have been times when I've been as mad as Donna and my husband's been as mad as you just for different reasons. Glad you worked through it.

Keep showing us females to be superior Donna! :)

I am glad to hear that you guys are working through your differences and talking things out.

I am glad to hear that you two are able to communicate about this!

As many others have commented elsewhere, and I think you have hinted at, this is not a Donna/Pete or Mormon/Ex-Mormon thing. It is about raising your children. Together.

Good luck,

Jen

I'm glad things are better. Now, since Donna lost her commenting virginity, we want to hear about the "...and stuff." :) C'mon, Donna. Dish it sistah!

May I suggest that while you have the positive vibes going and communication channels somewhat open, that you continue. Make it a point to set aside 5, 15, however many minutes a day you can to really talk. Make it a rule not to yell, and if you find yourself getting angry, you tell the other THAT you're getting angry, and why. Anger is a secondary emotion, and finding the true reason of your anger is paramount to getting past it. My wife and I have found that if days go by where we don't talk, we get "off focus" with each other. The we let that happen, the more likely a blow-up occurs. If we talk daily and back on the same channel, it minimizes the chances of said blow-ups. Now, of course, if you purposely cause a blow-up to get to the making up, you're on your own there.

if I may be so bold as to make a few more suggestions:
Donna: let the infidelities go. It's hard, it's hard, it's damn fucking hard, but those infidelities are a wound, and each time you bring them up, you pick the scab off the wound. If you keep doing that, the wound can never heal. He fucked up, you know it, he knows it, if he does it again he's on the curb without his children, so put it in the past and don't use it in today's battles.
Pete: Sulking is never a good tactic to deal with a situation. Every kids in the world can sulk, it's a natural gift. The real man is the one who pulls Donna aside when he sees the situation coming, tells her he's upset and why, and defuses the situation before it happens.

And as for the Mormonism, you each have to respect the other's views about this. Donna, if you want the marriage to work, you have to put Pete's opinions at least on the same level as your family's and the church's when it comes to you and your kids. Otherwise, something else becomes more important to you than your husband, and that's the beginning of the end for your marriage. Pete, regardless of what you feel about Mormonism, it's important to Donna. Her feelings about her religion are intertwined with her feelings about her family and children, and you have to understand that. What make sense and doesn't make sense to you doesn't necessarily carry over to her.

Finally (Thank God, right?), remember this: when you discuss, keep in mind that the person you're discussing with thinks they're right. If you argument is based on the opinion that they're wrong, you will get nowhere with them.

Anyway, good luck. Donna, post your feelings, not for us, but for Pete. If it's too hard to tell Pete how you feel to his face without causing a scene or just because, you can always type it. Then he knows where you're coming from. Communication is necessary, and get it anyway you can.

Weed

You guys are all really great. Thanks.