I know you probably wouldn't go through with it, but "interviewing" his kids would be a great way of making your point. Why would they do such a thing without the consent of BOTH parents?

I recommend an at-home baptism with blood and Black Sabbath playing in the background.

Maybe then your family will know how you feel.

(Cheers, by the way. I just stumbled upon your site. And I am so totally kidding about the baptism. Surely, I am.)

I'd darned sure interview the bishop's kids. And calling him an asshat is mild compared to what I just called him.

Seriously the church baptizes people without parental permission? Did Donna tell the bishop you'd given permission? How do they preach family when they don't even respect the role of a father?

Pete,

I hurt for you...

Does Dona know what reciprocity is?

The open house was a "tipping point" I believe.

It sucks that this has happened to you. What in the world was Donna thinking? Surely she knew you'd be pissed! It was just so wrong of her.

Sorry to hear about this. I feel your pain. Hang in there. Good luck in dealing with Donna. I had similar issues with my wife and it took me some time to come to a mutual understanding / respect. I had to move out for some time to help her understand that I would not live my life like this. It bothers me to think that people put so much value in the church over their family. To hell with the Mormon's for destroying lives and their crazy ass beliefs. Good luck to you.

Pete,

I post on Matt Barnson's page, but have been reading your site for a while there. I have a similar situation as yours, except for my wife's a Southern Baptist.

What I see as key here is that you must do SOMETHING. Donna will see inaction as indirect aquiescence, and think "Whew, I got that past him without a fight!". However, as I'm sure you've learned, blowing up in anger isn't the answer. What I've learned to do with my wife (which has the dual bonus of working PLUS driving her crazy) is to play Mr. Rational. Tell her how you feel, how making decisions for your daughter without your input is not acceptable and help undermine the basis of your marriage. But DO NOT GET ANGRY. Take a few deep breaths before answering, if necessary. Point out how absurd it is to have your daughter go through such a big decision without your involvement. Ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed ("Honey, I felt like our daughter was mature enough, so Let her have beer. We drank some brews together last night. Thought you should know.")

You have to make a stand, but making an angry stand will lead to nothing but more anger and pain. The way to get your point across is to control the anger, but still refuse to lose the fight.

Might work for you, might not. It helped me out. Good luck, and remember, no matter what, that you have spoken with Sean Penn. :)

Weed

I can't imagine you two can live this way and not have your behavior crash down on your kids. Even if you rarely fight out loud -- choosing instead to retreat to your bedroom, punish with silence and other passive-aggressive bullshit -- your little girls see all, hear all, know all.

Isn't that enough to convince you this is no way to live?

Sad.

Looks like you finally got the blog audience you were looking for.