i wish i had that. trying to nix the pattern of failure. encouraging to reach for the stars even though maybe right now you are only in the place to reach the top of a tree. my parents never did that. they told me a 3.8 wasn't what we immigrated to the US for and that 2nd place was not 1st place and that I was worthless. I HATE THEM. Don't become one of those assholes.

xoxo

I am so glad I have a boy. It will hit him too, but so far at 16 the whole girl thing hasn't caught on enough to ruin his grades or make him do anything too stupid. Remembering myself as a 13 year old girl, you are doing a great thing with Megan. You know she can do better and it's okay to expect that - you'll be supportive as long as she's doing her best.

De-lurking to say BRAVO.
We are having a similar experience with my 14 y/o niece, who up until this summer was a saint of a kid. My brother died in June, so once she started school she attached herself to a boy. An asshole of a boy. Who did not deserve the pedestal she placed him on. Everything about her changed--the makeup, the clothes, the way she spoke, the music she listened to, her plans for the future (from "I want to be a vet" to "I want to settle down and have a family"). And this is even without, um, bodily relations. We didn't want to find out what would change if they were alone long enough to do some real damage. Her mother and I got together last weekend and compared notes (about her behavior, language, and above all: her DAMN MYSPACE), and it was not good. So her mom made her break up with the little jerk. And while I know that in itself does not make everything better, we are hoping that it helps. 14 (or 13) is too young to know how to have a boyfriend without losing themselves. "What we're trying to avoid is the kind of behavior that leads to a pattern of failure."--that sums up parenting a teenager. And no matter how many times you tell them you're doing this for their own good, so that the small indiscretions don't turn into sex at 14 and a teenage pregnancy (and dropping out of school, not following through with college dreams, yada yada, you know the drill), they hate you for it. Thanks for this post. It made me feel better about going covert on her to get the idiot boyfriend out of the picture.
BTW, Megan will think back as an adult and say, wow, I was so lucky to have involved parents.
Thanks again :)