Just Like Quiet Riot Did

Thursday, May 1, 2008

So, this morning was awesome. I was a dad-machine. The little girls were out of bed, dressed, fed and sent towards the bus stop, completed homework in hand... err... backpack.

I was out the door on time. ON. TIME. Oh, and I was shaved, showered and managed to match my socks to my underwear. I had kicked the morning's ass. Solo, bitches.

I even remembered that I needed to swap cars with my sister-in-law so she could help out and cover the carpool with our van. This I remembered until I replaced that remembering with the rememory that I needed to take The Bitch to the sitter's. Then, somehow the remembering about the van left my brain. I still drove the van. It's just that I drove it all the way to work.

Sometime around nine-thirty, my phone rang. It was the sister-in-law.

"Haven't you left for work yet?"

"Umm... yeah, I'm actually at work. I've been here for and hour. Can you believe I got to work on time and put Beth's hair in a ponytail without either one of us crying?"

"Did you forget something?"

"No. I totally remembered to take that bag to the Post Office for Donna. SUCK IT!"

I strutted for effect.

"Well, I'm just standing around waiting for you to bring me the van so I can, you know, pick your children up from school later."

"Shit."

I had no choice. Meetings would go un-attended. Coders would go un-mentored. Paper would go un-clipped. I would have to drive the van to the sister-in-law's house. Which house is so remarkably close to my house as to make it as if I drove all the way to my house. Which house is not exactly right next door to my office. Which means I got to commute twice. I'm pretty sure when you do that, the state gives you a sticker that requires you to drive in the far right lane. Then Al Gore comes and kicks you in the balls.

"So, what time do I need to pick up Marie?"

"Umm... after school?"

"Right. What time is that?"

"Umm..."

Sigh. "I'll call the school. What grade is she in?"

"Umm... Fourth? Fourth. Fourth! I knew that one!"

"You're an idiot. Go back to work and earn that paycheck so my sister doesn't have to move in with me."

Tomorrow will go better. Probably.

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