Fiddley Gomme - Donna

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

Pete — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:28:53 -0700

So after all that trouble to have a contest and sort through the entries and counting the votes. The winner is...

Donna

The voting was very close. Within one vote, actually. But we checked for hanging chads, double-checked with the Supreme Court and the results are certified.

If I can let you in on a secret, and I'm pretty sure I can, this is exactly how I hoped this contest would go. As expected, when faced with the reality of changing her alter-ego, she found herself emotionally attached to it. I suspected readers would feel the same.

And hey, at least I don't have to spend the day finding and replacing.

Lostinutah, email me your address so you can collect your prize.

And It Comes Down To This

Pete — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:47:15 -0700

Alrighty, folks here are your final five.

1) Dawn Dunn

Sarah throws her weight behind alliteration. We likey.

2) Donna Dunn

Lostinutah said she thinks we ought to stick with the status quo. Believe it or not, the wife has gotten a little nostalgic about her current moniker. Women. Pff. You just can't make 'em happy, can you?

3) Mrs. Dunn

First suggested by MP. Summed up perfectly by Queen Of Spain "No first name. She is an enigma."

4) Whatshername

Technically I suggested this first but the entry goes to Jantzie. I happen to like that it's a Green Day reference but I've been warned that she'll never answer to it. "NEVER", she said.

5) Did I say five? I meant four.

Comments are open but please vote by sending an email to pete [at] fiddley [dot] com. One vote per person, please. Bribes happily accepted.

We'll keep the voting open until midnight Wednesday, Mormon Standard Time (that's Utah time, people). I'll post the winner tomorrow.

A Contest: Name My Wife, Win A Bag!

Pete — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:59:14 -0700

When I started blogging on Fiddley Gomme, I was writing about all kinds of things I figured would piss my wife off. So I wanted to make sure she didn't accidentally stumble across the site. Because I'm a chicken-shit.

To keep my anonymity, I invented an alias. Pete Dunn. I also came up with one in order to keep hers. Donna Dunn. This worked out great. I wrote about whatever I wanted and she was none-the-wiser.

Somewhere along the way, I felt like we had gotten to a place where I could share my thoughts and feelings with her without fear of castration. So I shared this blog with her. And except for a few minor bumps, it's gone very well.

OK, there's been one pretty major bump. The alias I picked for her. She hates it. A lot.

The good news is, this is the web. Nothing is carved in granite and nobody will die if I change it. But to what? That's where you come in.

We need you to think of a new name for my wife. It can be any name you want as long as no one else has already suggested it.

Here's how it will work.

Submit your suggestion as a comment to this post. On Tuesday we will take all the suggestions submitted and Donna will take her five favorite (she's got to have some say this time, right?) and I'll post those. Then you guys will vote on your favorite from those top five.

The person who first suggested the winning name will win this handmade bag from Donna's Etsy shop.

Ooooh....

Aaaah....

Isn't it lovely?

Good luck, we're all counting on you! Ready... begin.

By Which She Will Be Known On The Records Of The Church

Pete — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:14:31 -0800

I have a stupid habit of naming inanimate objects. My first car, a powder blue, vinyl-topped 1978 Pontiac Bonneville was dubbed The Blue Whale. After that, I drove The Cherry Tomato. These are the first in a line of cars that included The Hulk, Black Beauty, Snow White, Goldilocks, Goldilocks 2, Goldilocks 3 and Babe, The Blue Ox.

Now that I think about it, what I have is a dumb habit of naming my car based on what color it is. None of these is a proper name for a thing. First of all, things should only be given a name if they are sleek, or beautiful, or powerful. Things like race cars, airplanes and naval vessels. Not 1985 Honda Civic sedans.

Also, I should probably not ask my kids for their advice when naming the three gold minivans in a row we've owned.

So, when it came time to name my new guitar I decided I really needed to be more selective. I didn't want to end up calling it Balsa Chorus or Rosie Rosewood or Wonder Boy. Otherwise I'd end up only being able to play three-chord songs by The Smith's.

I was careful not to rush into anything but after a couple weeks I just couldn't think of anything. Until this weekend when Donna casually turned to me and said, "you should name your guitar Penny."

Penny.

It's an old-timey woman's name that invokes images of pin-ups painted on the side of World War II bombers. It's also almost exactly what Donna paid for it. It's perfect.

Oh Say Can You Sing?

Pete — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 09:10:35 -0800

For a few hours each day, Donna works as an underpaid government employee in a classroom at a local elementary school. It's a tough and thankless job but she finds working directly with students to be particularly rewarding.

Yesterday, after the class sang the National Anthem, as the do each morning, one young boy approached Donna and said, "Wow, you could totally sing that at a football game."

That's just about the grandest compliment a nine-year-old boy can pay a person, I think. Yes, high praise indeed.

Body Image

Pete — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:00:23 -0800

When Donna was growing up, her parent always lovingly teased that she was their "big girl". I don't mean when she was like five in a gee-now-you're-in-kindergarten-please-stop-sucking-your-thumb sort of way. At five feet, seven inches, Donna is nearly as tall as her dad. So even into high school, she was their "big girl".

While she's never been anything even close to obese, and while she's never considered herself fat, I think it's a safe bet that she also never thought of herself as skinny. In fact, I think that while she's always been aware of her weight and shape, she's never really had either a positive or negative body image at all.

She's certainly been aware of her weight and size and shape but it's never seemed like it was really a part of who she is... a part of her identity.

But something has happened lately as Donna as made a conscious effort to discover the world outside her prescribed boundaries. She has discovered her body. It has become a part of her identity. She now rejoices in skinny days and laments her fat days. In the past, there had been no indication that if she felt one way or another about her body that it made any difference to her daily goings-on.

Better than she looked in High School

The upside to all of this is that, for the most part, she has developed a body image that is positive. She sees herself as a tight, skinny, sexy woman. Which, of course, she is. As a result, she now carries herself with all the physical confidence she deserves. She's not ashamed or afraid of her body within appropriate boundaries.

I, for one, am glad of it and hope she's able to discover and integrate into her identity even more of the fabulous things those of us around her already know.

The Night Cap

Pete — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:32:47 -0800

"How's that rum smoothy treating you?"

"It made me a little dizzy."

"The word you're looking for is tipsy."

"Did it taste like hairspray?"

"Nope. It was really tasty."

Unexplained

Pete — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 16:08:39 -0800

I've had a hard time catching up on my sleep lately. After a couple days on the road and a weekend full of shows and rehearsal I was finally able to sleep in on Sunday morning.

Usually sleep-in mornings are interrupted by the kids or the dog or the insane urge to empty my fifty-nine gallon bladder. But this Sunday I was able to sleep soundly well into the ten o'clock hour. Which was followed by me not showering and instead watching television in my underwear until about one o'clock.

So far so good.

After a casual lunch of beer and stir-fry chicken that Donna whipped up we watched some sports on the big screen in the basement. Donna even "forgot" to wear her garments or go to church. Instead we just lounged and shooed the kids all day.

All-in-all, the very most perfect kind of a day I could ask for. But despite the relaxing day, I was still exhausted from both the week I had behind me as well as the one ahead. The week of a new show opening is always late rehearsals and very little rest. So when Donna came to bed around midnight and snuggled up close I simply wasn't in the mood.

It wasn't long before Donna was in tears wondering where she had gone wrong to deserve such a rejection. She hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she'd done everything just about exactly right. Oh, I could have used a little working-up or whatever and I still find myself skeptical of her sincerity in these matters because of our truckloads of sexual baggage. But that wasn't really it. Whatever it was though was keeping me completely uninterested.

Minutes later, our entire past, as it always does, had once again made its way into our argument and our perfect day was ruined. We went to sleep angry and I woke today feeling weary and achy. We both did our best to pretend nothing was wrong but it clearly was.

I feel bad that she feels bad but find it hard to apologize for feeling how I felt. I wasn't interested and I would have felt ridiculous pretending that I was. Probably worse than I feel now.

Commitment Issues

Pete — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 22:15:40 -0800

So I had this ambitious idea that I would kick ass on this whole NaBloPoMo thing. That ambition got me exactly two days in before a Saturday full of rehearsal, a show, and a beer-and-karaoke-filled birthday party for Sarah distracted me. So, unless you count drunken Twitters and iBlog entries, I am a total failure at the daily posting thing. Just add that to the pile of things I'm a total failure at.

On the upside, Donna and I are keeping up on our other once-a-day-every-day-of-November commitment. We call it NaFuEvDaMo.

I assure you, I will try very hard to keep it up.

Donna In The House

Pete — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 22:47:12 -0700

To kick off NaBloPoMo this year, I'm introducing a new blogger and NaBloPoMo participant. Many of you have been begging to hear more from her so here's your chance. Donna is in the house, people.

She assures me she'll be much nicer than I am. Something about no one liking an asshole. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Donna is an unbelievably talented crafter. I'm not talking about lame-ass tole painting and plastic grapes either. She's a master with a pneumatic stapler and an industrial sewing machine. If you want to get serious about rebuilding your grandmother's old chair or repainting your dining room, pay close attention.

But please, for the love of corn, don't stop reading here either. I'm committed to a new post every day of November and it would be a pity to waste all that effort. Plus, I heard that for every post you don't read Bill Gates kills a puppy. Try and live with that, if you can... puppy killers.