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Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information. This joke may contain profanity. One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose. The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra.

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Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information. This joke may contain profanity. One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra. How many animals can fit in one pair of pantyhose? A beautiful night in a Moscow park. A young couple is sitting on a bench. The girl says "Vanya, take your glasses off, you're tearing my pantyhose! Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.

What does a revolving door and a pair of pantyhose have in common? My grandma needs a lot of help getting out of them. What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common? Guy meets a girl at the bar They decide to take it back to her place. On the cab ride they get frisky, the elevator ride up they're getting riled up, and by the time they get in the door they strip off in a mad fit of passion and drop to the floor right there, going at it at her request.

A rich guy and his poor drinking buddy were at the bar before Christmas That way if she doesn't like the ring, at least she'll still love the Beemer! That way if she doesn't This guy walks up to his wife one day This guy walks up to his wife one day and grabs her breast, he says " if these were firmer, you could get rid of your bra.

The next day, the husband comes up to his wife and grabs her butt, and says, "If this was firmer, you could get rid of During a dance at the retirement home The local retirement home decided to have a dance for the residents, a sort of a prom. So all the men and women dressed in their best and gathered in the common area.

During the evening, Elmer, an 85 year old stud, spies Mabel, a 68 year old beauty he begins to flirt, and soon asks her back College kids A couple of college students met in a night club one night and danced the night away.

They hit it off pretty well, and soon the guy suggested they go to his apartment for some extracurricular activity. Well it wasn't long before they found themselves in bed making passionate love. A sailor is discharged from the Navy As they were driving home, the satisfied sailor says, "Wow, that was great. And I know you liked it too, I saw yo By the time they get to his apartment, they're both unbelievably horny.

The front door has barely shut before they start making passionate love, stripping each others' clothes off on the way to the bedr Man and woman pick each other up, in a club.

They decide to go back to one of their places, but simply can't keep their hands off each other, and end up getting it on in the back of the cab. Afterward, the guy says, "If I'd known you were a virgin, I would have gone slower.

One night stand A guy finishes up banging a girl he just met at a bar. He says "If I had known you were a virgin I would have taken it a little easier.

A young man is getting married He was raised in a very conservative and religious setting, like his bride-to-be, and is a virgin as is the bride. He decides to ask a friend of his who has more experience for advice on what he should do. The friend gives him details This this old couple in the old-folks home They go back to his room and have their wedding night romancing. Afterwards he looks at her and says "Boy oh boy - If I had known you were a virgin I would have done this a long time ago".

To which she replied "Shit, if I thought you'd be a

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