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Members of a small women's rights group, Liverpool ReSisters , have declared that "women don't have penises.
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Just over five years ago, I had my first and only child. A boy! Boys love their moms, right? My child set me straight:. He was sobbing. You can be a girl! Two very eventful years have passed since then. I got help from a psychologist who specializes in gender-nonconforming kids. I joined a local support group for parents with kids like mine.
A lot. Man, I tried. But the kid was unmoved. I finally gave in when I realized I was the only one still clinging to the idea that I had a boy. I realized what a betrayal that was, for her Mom — the person who was supposed to be her biggest supporter and protector — to not get on board. So… I let my little boy go. It was really hard at the time, and I grieved. I missed my baby boy.
In what way had this androgynous baby ever really been a boy except as a creation of my own mind? And yet, I grieved the loss of that creation. My child, M. These days, I read every trans-related newspaper article, blog, and memoir I can get my hands on.
And you have mine, M. So beautifully written. You, my dear, are a wonderful person. As a mother of an almost 3 year old daughter, I hope I am at least half the mother you are to sweet M. You have a loyal follower in me from here on out. Thank you, gendermom. This brought me to tears. You are a truly incredible woman and your daughter is so lucky to have you in her life. Her life will be hard and that will be hard for you of course but she is yours because you have the strength and love to be okay with it and to show her how to be okay with it.
Thank you for this blog. I think it will help a lot of people xxx. Congratulations to you! To me, my gay brother has never been a issue. I know it is not an easy job, specially with the narrow minded people but keep up the good work! What do you recommend: incarceration in a psychiatric ward; or perhaps the child should be taken from its mother and placed elsewhere? Or are you actually OK with leaving the child with the mother? That is a very serious accusation and implication.
Would you put a mother through the horror of a child services type of nightmare in order to gain some notion of satisfaction that you carry with you? Your opinion leads horrendously in that direction. Please note:. However, for those who may be new to the study of gender, I will outline some of the highlights here:.
If that is what you feel, why are you even reading about such subjects? Play nice or stay away. Seriously dude? I wish you all the joy and happiness such a hateful, bigoted mindset deserves.
Boys can like girl toys and not be trans, or gay. Girls can like boy toys and not be trans or gay. I can understand if something went wrong in the womb. Like down syndrome something went wrong with the cells or dna or chromosomes.
I get that. But at 3 you know you were the wrong sex? I find that hard to believe or understand. Kids persist in identifying themselves as their core gender identity or truth. They know. I knew when I was very young that i was not who my body said I was. Pretending that I was a girl was normal than living as a boy. I even had boobs when I was 10! Sure, I was fat then, but they never went away, even after I lost all the weight still had them when I began HRT at 51 — they just got bigger.
Talk about awkward! But suffice to say, it is not uncommon at all for transgender child to know that something is up when they are very young. Sad Sad Sad…. I pray you will make right this wrong… God give you strength and I pray you will find Jesus through this experience. God Bless you and your son who is fearfully and wonderfully made. Transgender is a genuine medical and biological problem caused by endocrine hormone disruptor chemicals from pesticides, food additives and the like interfering with the normally integrated synchronous assignment of brain and body gender in the developing embryo.
These kids are not lying. They tell the truth. The Bosnian pyramids and a host of other discoveries show us now that all our historical data are grossly in error. In this critical and perverse spiritual dynamic souped up to maximize conflict, the enemies of righteousness become your own people: your brother, your sister, uncle, and anyone that appears to confirm that we are in the disgustingly distorted End Times.
Sexuality and gender  are typically used and abused by all who participate in the immortally persistent shaming and defaming of sex the greatest gift of God to humanity on all levels, to doggedly confirm the existence of a great well of pre Return perversion. This is a sexualized demonizing and conflictual negative spiritual orthodoxy that no-one with any reasonable intelligence should believe from the perspectives of: 1.
What I have noticed lately online is that the ingrained, negatively discriminatory opinions of the religious in terms of sexual subject matter will not accept information and understanding. There you find the real recalcitrance of a blind form of presumption, one that is identified as sheer ignorance, blindly accepted, and a personal sexual belief system never really questioned.
This speaks of a lack of spiritual meta systemic self analyses: thinking about our thinking that is negatively spiritually influenced. It warms my heart to know that there are trans kids today with parents supporting them, not turning them away.
Thank you, truly. Truly inspiring and eloquent post. I look forward to following your blog and getting to know you and M. For some people it is hard to accept that we do not get to choose our DNA. We have to play the cards we were dealt. We cannot control what the world does to us, but we can control our response.
I was lucky enough to be born into an all female household, so I was raised as a girl too. Except for certain anatomical features, I did not realize that girls and boys were really different until much later. I love knowing about your support thats just too great but trans-not a good word instead use our kids much better.
Even i am an incest loving my sister we both love each other and care of each other. In most cases, they will postpone puberty by prescribing blockers of the appropriate hormone until hrt can take place.
The author is a wonderfully enlightened person. I am older and have recently come to terms with my own gender incompatibility and living the lie my life has been. I only wish there would have been this understanding when I was secretly dressing and playing as a girl in my childhood.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Beautiful post. I am the mother of two transgender children — a 13 year old son and 7 year old girl who also has a twin brother. Our 7 year old had a very similar conversation at three with us. Our teenager took a little longer.
I adore my children and I feel blessed that I was chosen to be their mum. Thanks for sharing this blog with us. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account.
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Members of a small women's rights group, Liverpool ReSisters , have declared that "women don't have penises. It's an attention-grabbing stunt. But are they right? Well, it depends on what they mean by "women. That claim might sound strange. We might think that it's obvious what "woman" means. And that's partly because there's a myth about men and women that has a had a firm grip on our society for a long time. It goes like this:. There are exactly two kinds of people. One kind, men, have a penis, testes, and XY chromosomes, and the other kind, women, have a vulva, uterus, breasts, and XX chromosomes.
Everyone is one or the other. Men and women have different character traits that follow naturally from their different bodies, and therefore are suited to different social roles. People's bodies come in all sorts of configurations that don't match up neatly with this division between male and female , and there's no straightforward link between a person's sexed body and their character traits.
The system of social organisation based on sex limits people's choices with no good reason. It ensures that men on the whole have greater power, opportunity and status compared to women. On top of this, many people have a subjective sense of themselves as men, women, some other gender, or none at all, known as gender identity.
Gender identity is not determined by a person's body type, personality, or social role. Rather, it's a matter of how someone feels most comfortable navigating our gendered society. Trans people are people whose gender identity is different from the way they were categorized as male or female at birth based on their body.
The myth that men and women have different characters and are suited to different social roles makes it seem like there is one thing going on here—biological sex—which has all sorts of natural implications. Some feminists have suggested that it's better to think instead that there are two things going on: biological sex, and also gender, which can be thought of as the social upshots of having a biological sex in a society that's in the grip of the myth I just described.
But whether we think in terms of one thing sex or two things sex and gender , this is far too simple. Even if we just limited our focus to people's bodies, we'd have lots of options: Should we focus on chromosomes, or genitals, or secondary sex characteristics such as breasts and beards? Each of these would give us different results about who goes in which category.
And when we move to look at the social world, it gets even more messy. If we focus on people who are perceived and treated as women or men, we'll get different results in different contexts. Looking at gender identity will get us still more results, as will looking at how people fit in with stereotypes of gendered character traits being caring, for instance and at how people are legally classified.
For example, for certain medical purposes—tests for different kinds of cancer, say—it would be most useful to divide people up based on their internal reproductive organs. For the purposes of tracking certain kinds of discrimination—job candidates not being hired because those doing the hiring think they might soon become pregnant and take maternity leave, for instance—it makes sense to focus on how people's bodies are perceived by those around them.
At the moment, the U. Given the timing of their protest, it's reasonable to assume that when the Liverpool ReSisters say that "women don't have penises," they are referring to how people's legal gender should be decided.
However, there are good reasons to think that what matters for legal gender is actually gender identity. This is because the function of legal gender markers is to allow people to move through gendered society in certain ways— and gender identity is a matter of how someone feels most comfortable navigating gendered society. Trans people who are forced to move through society in a way that is fundamentally at odds with their gender identity report that this is a deeply distressing and harmful experience, and there is every reason to believe that these reports are truthful.
Taking these harms seriously, in my view, means that the state's recognition of people's gender should pick up on gender identity. If this is right, what does it mean for the Liverpool ReSisters's claim that "women don't have penises"?
Well, since gender identity is not determined by what kind of genitals someone has, a person with a female gender identity might well have a penis.
In other words, yes, some women do have penises. This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article. Weekly magazine, delivered Daily Newsletter Website access.