A: a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her. For sflls love of the South. My maternal grandmother owned a country restaurant. Everybody had money to spend, you know, and suddenly it was just all gone. My mama never cooked meth. Instead of playing into Southern stereotypes, they challenge them.
Lebian showering. More From Thought Catalog
Straight redneck amateur bears give blowjobs. The following video is from the movie "A Fish Called Wanda:" As you will see in the other vids, eRdneck naturally lend themselves to funny situations. They want to get dirty with dicks, and once they find one they'll stick it in Rednecck mouths to get it ready for their tight holes. The sister-in-law on vacation comes drunk to the hotel after the party 2. The crane versus the Pomeranian: Didn't you just love it when the crane operator ran away? Memes are basically modern society's adaptation to the average person being incapable of stringing several words together to form a coherent sentence. Here's a thought: Try a book. No Alfhild sex. Posted by ramblekhron. I knew someone with a Pomeranian when I was young, and that blasted dog would bark and bite constantly. You know, I have to admit that I really like that one. Redneck straight boy lets me blow him. Passed out wife shared with friend. Redneck funny sex sells is c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! Husband sharing wife.
To me and most folks I knew, the location of urination had always seemed a non-issue, but the whole South got in a tizzy about it in March of last year.
- You'll get piles of dudes, hillbillies and bros getting it on with each other right before your eyes.
- Redneck Industrialists.
- Want to spice it up a little in the bedroom?
Redneck jokes are jokes about rednecks. The term redneck is a derogatory term chiefly used for a rural poor white person of the Southern United States. Q: What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? A: A Fire Cracker! What do rednecks call ductape? Q: How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. Q: How does an redneck get a girlfriend? A: By responding to a message on the wall of a mens room at a truck stop!
Q: What should you do if you find three rednecks buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement. Q: What do rednecks and a bottle of beer have in common? In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. Q: What do you call a year-old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: A virgin. A: a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.
Q: What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A: A full set of teeth…. Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up. Q: What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working? A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work. How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck. A: They Go Through Withdrawal. Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? She got famous for not being able to read. What does a storm, tornado, and redneck separation have in like manner? You may be a redneck. How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?
You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue to walk by. Chartcons — Communications, Inspiration, Relationship and Entrepreneurship.
Available in the App Store. Hot Today. So we will let it ride. Template by Isnaini Dot Com. McCafferty's Pub - a collection of video humor, jokes, funny stories, photos and anecdotes. I love them, but Pomeranians?
Redneck funny sex sells. More Funny Photos
Want to spice it up a little in the bedroom? Trying to find that new position to drive that special someone crazy. Here's a thought: Try a book. And while you're at it, speed your way into the weekend with these perfect Thursday memes and get your groove on while you're at it,. Memes are basically modern society's adaptation to the average person being incapable of stringing several words together to form a coherent sentence.
So it only makes sense that we'd push that to the limit, and make the raunchiest, most inappropriate memes possible, because nothing exemplifies human progress than the ability to spend more than 30 seconds creating a picture with words.
Believe it or not, Amazon still sells these pens , Probably because women still need to write down all that girl stuff. Download Cheezburger App for Free. Android App on Google Play. Available in the App Store. Toggle Navigation Memebase. You absolutely must see this movie right away because it is that funny!
Rent it when you have some extra time because you will want to watch it twice. Maybe Jamie Lee should have won one too, but she played a sexy crook. Since she is naturally sexy, she really did not have to act as much as the others did. I have had a thing for Jamie Lee since I was old enough to tell the difference between men and women, so I am a little biased here. Since we all know that gratuitous sex and violence sells in this day and age, I have added a photo of Jamie Lee back when she was a bit younger.
The photo fulfills our quota of gratuitous sex for this post, plus there is plenty of violence, so to speak, in the videos. All of the other actors in the film, writers John Cleese and Charles Crichton and the director also Charles Crichton won other awards for the movie and deservedly so.
It is the remarkable cast that makes this movie so funny. If you intend to rent the movie, skip past the first video now to the second video so that we won't spoil any of the film for you. The following video is a scene from the movie in which a criminal, Ken Michael Palin , is trying to kill an elderly woman and make it look like an accident.
He screwed up his first two attempts and killed two of the lady's dogs instead. Ken is an animal lover so it bothered him enormously when he killed the first two dogs.
Killing people however comes second nature to him. The scene begins as Ken is making his third attempt to kill the little old lady, and he is using a crane to do it. This scene is what prompted me to search for funny videos using cranes. The following video is from the movie "A Fish Called Wanda:" As you will see in the other vids, cranes naturally lend themselves to funny situations.
If you skipped ahead because you had not seen "A Fish Called Wanda," pick up the thread here. Our next video involves a crane and a port-a-potty, or modern day outhouse. I, for one, cannot imagine what could possibly be funny about the combination of those two. And I thought that I was having a bad day. Hopefully, for the crane operator's sake, it was his last day on the job. Because if it wasn't before it is now. You noticed, I hope, that the occupant of our port-a-potty is a white collar type.
The crane operator saw the opportunity and he went for it. If you are going to get fired, this is the way to go out. Payback is so sweet, is it not? Haven't we all had at least one boss that we wish we could have done that to? The happy ending here would be to convince the old man that it truly was an accident and to keep your job. I don't know how that happened.
The crane controls should be checked out. I didn't mean to do it! Then you could lie in wait to do it all over again. You know, I have to admit that I really like that one. After watching it several times, I still laugh every time I see it. Here are a couple of installation contractors that remind me very much of Laurel and Hardy. Installation Blues: Yep! Just like Laurel and Hardy. But as funny as that video is, there are several things that just aren't right about it. What contractor will move a spindle that large by manual labor anymore?
Because of unions, contractors use heavy lifting equipment for any work that big. Why didn't they take the cable off of the spindle and move it up via the elevator? And notice the black mat right where the spindle goes through the "window. Unfortunately, this one is fake, but it's a good fake and it's funny. So we will let it ride. It is just like the dog in the clip from A Fish Called Wanda. And nope! That's no coincidence.
I knew someone with a Pomeranian when I was young, and that blasted dog would bark and bite constantly. I cannot count how many times that dog bit me. So any time a Pomeranian gets it, my heart dances an Irish jig. That's another reason to like A Fish Called Wanda.
50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny | Page 8 | Thought Catalog
To me and most folks I knew, the location of urination had always seemed a non-issue, but the whole South got in a tizzy about it in March of last year.
Then-North Carolina Gov. Many others, of course, saw it differently. He and his friends Drew Morgan and Corey Ryan Forrester had been writing material and doing sets at comedy clubs for a half-dozen years. Trae Crowder the contract administrator had wanted to become Trae Crowder the stand-up comic for a long time. He decided to adopt a character, the Liberal Redneck. He took off his glasses and put on a T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off it and a ragged ball cap on his head.
That first video got more than 70, views on Facebook. He ended his screed with this:. I realize that now. But I still had a day job; I had to get to work. And it kept building. Today, that Facebook post has passed 22 million views.
And Crowder, Morgan, and Forrester no longer work, respectively, as a contract administrator, a lawyer, and a guy who spray-paints custom Yeti cups. They are full-time stand-up comedians. Now, there is a development deal with Warner Bros. But it seems to me that Crowder, Forrester and Morgan are achieving more than just success in their chosen field. Outside our region, after-show crowds tell them they are happy to learn such people actually exist in the South.
Inside our region, those crowds — the closeted liberal rednecks of the South — thank the boys for letting them know they are not alone, that maybe they can muster the courage to be bolder with their own views. I saw that first performance of the still-running WellRed Comedy Tour. The buzz from the Liberal Redneck videos was enough to make it a sellout. Their manager, Nat Goldberg, asked me to come. But that character is not what you get when you see these guys in a comedy club.
Even on that first night, the trio delivered nuanced, practiced, insightful jokes — each with his own style. They shared a mountain twang very familiar to ears in North Georgia and East Tennessee. Crowder grew up in Celina, Tennessee, and Morgan in an even tinier mountain town 90 minutes away called Sunbright. Forrester is from and still lives just south of Chattanooga, over the Georgia border in Chickamauga.
Also, I quickly noticed that every one of them had a chip on the shoulder quite similar to the one I carry myself: that feeling of being a misfit in a small Southern town when you think differently than your neighbors and kinfolk. More than a year later, when I joined them for a three-night stand in early June in Huntsville, Alabama, I saw what constant touring had done for their act.
Seeing them again after shows, I could tell the road had taught them. Their material was tighter and sharper. Forrester, 29, opens and emcees every show. He is the screamer of the trio. His funniest humor comes from his utter astonishment at the weirdnesses of the modern world. Remember back in the day when you used to have to get to know somebody for 10, maybe 15 years before you found out they were crazy as fuck? You remember that? Number 1, I like baseball; Josh likes baseball.
Number 2, we live near each other; we could play baseball together. Number 3, Josh's mama has an ass that won't quit. Oh, my God! Let me check his Facebook and his Twitter and his LinkedIn profile.
He's gonna kill my goddamn family. But you know, it's hard right now. It's hard to go in between the guy who everyone came to see and the guy who just did that. But Morgan doubts himself too much. His humor is sly and biting. Knowing how genetics work, that makes me an alcoholic. But I had fun at lock-ins. He challenges me and Corey, too, and it makes us all better.
As for Crowder himself, maybe the closest stylistic analog is his first comic hero, Chris Rock. So good. My mama never cooked meth. She sold pills, a totally different thing. My mama feels about pills the way Wes Anderson feels about whimsy. Outside the club, after the show, I overhear a group of fans talking about the time Bill Maher performed in Huntsville, how it felt like a coming-out party for the local liberals. And there's a ton of them there.
But this is different, because these are people that have grown up here. They know. When that fan says the boys just know , there is a deeper, unspoken message.
But do they really know? If Forrester knows the untreated mental illnesses of redneckdom, Morgan knows the violence sometimes inherent in rural life. His older brother is in the middle of a long prison term for a violent crime. Mental illness, addiction, and violence. All checks on the redneck list. To check the poverty box, you go to Crowder. His early life in Celina was typical of Southern small towns that still had industry and thus employment. His dad, my paternal grandfather, owned a car lot.
My maternal grandmother owned a country restaurant. It was awesome. My gay uncle Tim owned a kinda hippy-dippy like deli on the square in Celina called the New Day Deli. And they were all doing well, so we were a family of small business owners basically, and especially by Celina standards we were fine. We were totally fine. But I barely even remember any of that.
When I was 7, my mom and dad got divorced. I didn't really understand any of what that was or what that meant or what the hell was going on. We got money and stuff like that.
But you fast forward to five years later, and my mom is, you know, strung out on pills and never really even around. The video store is closed down, my uncle's deli is closed down. My grandma had to sell her restaurant, and my grandpa is hanging on by a thread with his car lot.
That is what happened to the whole town. The whole town just died. That factory left, and that was the center of the town's economy. Everybody had money to spend, you know, and suddenly it was just all gone. So when I think about my childhood stuff, that's what I remember.
I barely even remember any of the prosperous times, the good times. That fan was right. These guys? There are no five-star hotels for the boys. I got this email from Trae when we were making arrangements for my time with them:. They're infamous for being dens of filth.
But over this three-night, five-show stand in Huntsville, the boys and I got lucky. Still, the glamor factor was low. There were two bedrooms and four of us. Drew got a solo bedroom, Trae and Corey bunked side by side in a queen bed, and I got the couch. My fondest memory of the whole trip, if I am to be completely honest, is waking up one morning to the sound of Trae and Corey chattering and laughing like hyenas in their bedroom.
I figured they must already be up and dressed, so I stuck my head in the door. There, I found two pasty-white rednecks in their underwear, lying side by side on the bed, cracking jokes. Truth is, the whole trio shares an easy camaraderie. Essentially, when they're not on stage making other folks laugh, they're almost always laughing at each other's jokes.