Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. I never think about sex and I never crave it. I feel like I could be perfectly happy never having it again. Am I missing something?
January 9, Asexual sex only had a sexual relationship for a few months out of the three years we were together. Asexuality is not a fear of sex or relationships. The Asexual sex currents in me curled up and frayed but still shot through with power despite my tears and discomfort. The people in a queerplatonic relationship are just as committed as those in a romantic relationship. Cengage Learning. Chasin states that asexuality has the power to challenge commonplace discourse of the naturalness of sexuality, but that the unquestioned acceptance of its current definition does not allow for this.
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I empathize, because as many of us know, sex can feel amazing! I am 30 years old by the way and my Asexual sex is 33, forget to add that in my response above :. He had to. It left my sexuality retreating even deeper within myself. Go for it. The only difference is emotional: Who we feel an urge to use those parts and pieces with. Come and play with my big sexy booty! This will make them, much, MUCH more comfortable with you later. Elsevier Health Sciences. You can make a dental dam out of a condom, but you should not Asexual sex to use a dental dam as a condom.
My friend Erik introduced me to the term.
- By michaeld, Thursday at PM in Announcements.
- Asexuality in the world of biological reproduction means that a single organism can produce offspring identical to the parent.
- Welcome to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
Beyond that, asexuality is different for every individual. Some still seek out relationships, others are content with close friends or on their own. Some asexuals have no interest in dating or companionship. Woman B: To me, it means that someone doesn't feel sexual attraction toward other people. I don't think it means you can't tell when someone is attractive. Even if I can tell a man or woman is physically attractive and dresses nice, I don't fantasize about doing anything sexual with them.
In all my relationships I've been OK with nonsexual intimacy but I've never wanted to go beyond that. I knew it was expected but it's not something I thought about most of the time. Woman A: It was my sophomore year of college. Before then, I had been very dismissive of how I felt. I dated and had boyfriends and so badly wanted to understand why everyone was so into being in a relationship.
I took this human sexuality course as an elective and that was where I first heard of asexuality. It was a lightbulb moment for me. Of course. Woman B: I was around 18 or 19 when a friend mentioned asexuality in an offhand way, but I didn't learn the actual definition and start identifying as asexual until I was I'm 23 now.
I think I was At one point, I made up having a girlfriend back home so I would have an excuse to not hit on women. Woman A: It was very confusing. I was angry at myself for not finding the right boy. I think for women especially, so much of the media geared towards teens is about couples and couple drama and romance.
Woman B: Among my friends, I was usually dismissed. If the topic of sex came up, they stopped me before I started talking because I'd told them about having no interest. But I didn't have many moments where I thought there was a problem with not caring about it. Man A: It gave me a lot of anxiety. For a while, I felt like I was just really late in terms of developing. I was trying to self-diagnose and look things up online when I found out what asexuality was.
I got made fun of a lot because I just came off as very awkward. But I still need to really explain myself to people. Woman B: It seems like if you aren't a sexual person you don't get recognized in books, movies, or television.
But now I just move on to something else instead of giving time to things that don't acknowledge me. Woman A: Yeah, and for a variety of reasons I prefer to masturbate instead of have sex.
But I only do it very occasionally. Woman B: I don't feel it but I do believe feeling the desire for sexual release is different to sexual attraction. I don't think someone having that desire means they want to make anyone else involved. Man A: Sometimes I feel like I need sex, but in a very basic way. Woman B: No. I don't even like the idea of actually doing it. I have to really focus on the physical sensation. Woman B: Yes, with two different guys. It was incredibly boring and not something I planned on doing again after the first time.
It's something I could do without. Woman A: I have had a few, especially when I was younger. Woman B: I've had three boyfriends and one girlfriend.
Woman B: I've never dated another asexual person but I don't have a preference for orientation. Woman A: I sure did. It feels like dating someone with a very intense hobby, like a sports nut. I can sit through it the same way I can sit through a football game. Before I started identifying as asexual, it was difficult to explain that my lack of interest in sex was not a disinterest in him, so we have had sex because of that.
We still do, just not very often. Two or three times a month at most, and sometimes not at all. We have talked about sex not being a part of our relationship in the future, and he's a little more open to the idea. I think women see me as a catch in certain respects. They think they can deal with the lack of sex. Some women think they can get my sex drive going. I still have emotions and I can still make connections with people.
Woman B: I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that because our orientation is a minority, we don't know ourselves well enough to identify this way. Another is that it's a childish thing, that we're not adults until we feel sexual attraction like everyone else. Man A: That we just have low sex drives. I spent long enough trying to get myself into that mindset. Woman A: Until recently I didn't really understand the concept of a "turn-on. And even now it's really just a theory to me.
It's not a foreign concept. But I would say that the idea of arousal is a little difficult to grasp. Not on a physical level, but seeing someone and getting turned on.
Woman B: My advice is to do as much research as needed to help you feel sure of it. No one else is inside your head so no one else can decide your orientation. And don't worry if one day you might feel sexual attraction. It doesn't invalidate your asexuality if your orientation changes. Woman B: People who identify as asexual can want a relationship or only desire platonic friendships. Both are perfectly OK. Neither should be used a measurement of what makes a true asexual.
Follow Rachel on Twitter. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Peep Your Horoscope for This Week. So, you identify as asexual. What does that mean to you? How old were you when you started using the label "asexual" to describe yourself? How old are you now? What was it like growing up asexual in a world in which everyone is assumed to want sex? What is it like for you now, as an adult? On the AVEN [Asexuality Visibility and Education Network] website, asexuality is defined as an absence of sexual attraction to other people — meaning that some asexual people experience a physical desire for sexual release, they just have no desire to act on it with another person.
Do you ever feel that desire for sexual release, and if so, how does it differ from sexual attraction? Do you masturbate? Woman A: Yes. See the previous question. Have you ever had sex? If so, what was the experience like for you? Do you desire a romantic relationship? If so, do you prefer to date other asexual people? Or people of a certain sexual orientation e.
If you have dated a sexual person, did you feel any pressure to have sex? How did you deal with it? What are the biggest misconceptions about asexual people, in your opinion? Is there anything that confuses you about sexual people? If so, what? If a person is wondering if they might be asexual, what advice would you have for them? Is there anything else you'd like Cosmo readers to know about asexuality?
Elizabeth Abbott posits that there has always been an asexual element in the population, but that asexual people kept a low profile. Hell, when I was in the 7th grade, I used to get an erection every day in math class. Sexuality is fluid and can change with time. This article is about humans who lack sexual attraction or interest in sexual activity. It was all spoiled by the man we shared, and the trauma he inflicted on both of us. Use condoms or dental dams, etc.
Asexual sex. Asexual Perspectives
Make sure to read up to see what's new. Questions about asexuality? Here's the place! A place for all discussions about relationships, be they romantic, friendly, familial, or anything else. Can you handle it? A forum mainly geared toward discussion of issues facing the more mature asexuals, but open to everybody.
Are you a friend, relative or romantic partner of an asexual? Have some questions or need some support? Then this is the forum for you! You're welcome to use the rest of the board, as well, of course.
If you are enjoying AVEN, come check out some of the other communities discussing asexuality and related interests. Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white concepts; come here to discover and discuss the grey area in between, demisexuality, and all things related to sexuality and sexual identities! A place to discuss how a sexuality intersects with other identities such as race, religion, and disability. A place to discuss romanticism, aromanticism, the area in between, and the many kinds of attractions.
Arrange meetups with asexual folk in your area! Currently the land of foxes, cats and goats, Where the hard-postin' folks of AVEN come at the end of a long day to get low-down and goofy. This forum's contents are hidden to guests but the topic titles are public. The place to play all of AVEN's greatest games. Come here to ban, sue and count to 30 against your fellow AVENites!
Note: Mafia-type and Roleplaying games are found in Just for Fun. Posts here do not count towards your post count. Polls that give the statistics that make up AVEN. The topics here are sometimes serious and sometimes not variety is welcome.
However, if you feel your subject and poll are just for fun please post it in the Just For Fun forum. A forum for sharing your accomplishments, kudos, and whatever else might be making you feel great about your life.
If you're happy and you know it, post in here! A place for members to discuss all aspects of the creative processes, in both theory and application, and to showcase and improve their awesome talents This forum's contents are hidden to guests but the topic titles are public. By DerekGMunson Started 1 hour ago. By Mysterywriter Started 2 hours ago. By Randomconfused Started 2 hours ago. By iwouldrathercuddle Started 2 hours ago. By StrangeDruid Started 2 hours ago.
Search In. AVEN Fundraiser! Split Orientations. Ace And Aro Census is open for a limited time only! Start new topic Forums. Acceptance of asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research is still relatively new,    as a growing body of research from both sociological and psychological perspectives has begun to develop.
Various asexual communities have started to form since the advent of the Internet and social media. The most prolific and well-known of these communities is the Asexual Visibility and Education Network , which was founded in by David Jay. Asexuality is sometimes called ace a phonetic shortening of "asexual"  , while the community is sometimes called the ace community , by researchers or asexuals.
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network defines an asexual as "someone who does not experience sexual attraction" and stated, "[a]nother small minority will think of themselves as asexual for a brief period of time while exploring and questioning their own sexuality" and that "[t]here is no litmus test to determine if someone is asexual.
If at any point someone finds the word asexual useful to describe themselves, we encourage them to use it for as long as it makes sense to do so. Asexual people, though lacking sexual attraction to any gender, might engage in purely romantic relationships, while others might not. With regard to sexual activity in particular, the need or desire for masturbation is commonly referred to as sex drive by asexuals and they disassociate it from sexual attraction and being sexual; asexuals who masturbate generally consider it to be a normal product of the human body and not a sign of latent sexuality, and may not even find it pleasurable.
Many people who identify as asexual also identify with other labels. These other identities include how they define their gender and their romantic orientation. Regarding romantic or emotional aspects of sexual orientation or sexual identity , for example, asexuals may identify as heterosexual , lesbian , gay , bisexual , queer ,   or by the following terms to indicate that they associate with the romantic, rather than sexual, aspects of sexual orientation:  .
People may also identify as a gray-A such as a gray-romantic, demiromantic, demisexual or semisexual because they feel that they are between being aromantic and non-aromantic, or between asexuality and sexual attraction. While the term gray-A may cover anyone who occasionally feels romantic or sexual attraction, demisexuals or semisexuals experience sexual attraction only as a secondary component, feeling sexual attraction once a reasonably stable or large emotional connection has been created.
Other unique words and phrases used in the asexual community to elaborate identities and relationships also exist. One term coined by individuals in the asexual community is friend-focused , which refers to highly valued, non-romantic relationships. Other terms include squishes and zucchinis , which are non-romantic crushes and queer-platonic relationships, respectively. Terms such as non-asexual and allosexual are used to refer to individuals on the opposite side of the sexuality spectrum.
Asexuality is not a new aspect of human sexuality, but it is relatively new to public discourse. Smith of The Guardian is not sure asexuality has actually increased, rather leaning towards the belief that it is simply more visible. He also included a category he called "X" for individuals with "no socio-sexual contacts or reactions. Lehmiller stated, "the Kinsey X classification emphasized a lack of sexual behavior, whereas the modern definition of asexuality emphasizes a lack of sexual attraction.
As such, the Kinsey Scale may not be sufficient for accurate classification of asexuality. Further empirical data about an asexual demographic appeared in , when a research team in the United Kingdom carried out a comprehensive survey of 18, British residents, spurred by the need for sexual information in the wake of the AIDS pandemic. The survey included a question on sexual attraction, to which 1.
Since less sexually experienced people are more likely to refuse to participate in studies about sexuality, and asexuals tend to be less sexually experienced than sexuals, it is likely that asexuals were under-represented in the responding participants. The same study found the number of homosexuals and bisexuals combined to be about 1. In a survey conducted by YouGov in , 1, British adults were asked to try to place themselves on the Kinsey scale.
There is significant debate over whether or not asexuality is a sexual orientation. The first study that gave empirical data about asexuals was published in by Paula Nurius, concerning the relationship between sexual orientation and mental health.
Results showed that asexuals were more likely to have low self-esteem and more likely to be depressed than members of other sexual orientations; A similar trend existed for depression. Nurius did not believe that firm conclusions can be drawn from this for a variety of reasons. In a study, Yule et al. The results of male and female participants were included in the findings. Yule et al. The same was found for female asexual participants over their heterosexual counterparts; however, non-asexual, non-heterosexual females had the highest rates.
Asexual participants of both sexes were more likely to have anxiety disorders than heterosexual and non-heterosexual participants, as were they more likely than heterosexual participants to report having had recent suicidal feelings. With regard to sexual orientation categories, asexuality may be argued as not being a meaningful category to add to the continuum, and instead argued as the lack of a sexual orientation or sexuality.
The suggestion that asexuality is a sexual dysfunction is controversial among the asexual community. Those who identify as asexual usually prefer it to be recognized as a sexual orientation.
Because of these facts coming to light, it is reasoned that asexuality is more than a behavioral choice and is not something that can be cured like a disorder. Research on the etiology of sexual orientation when applied to asexuality has the definitional problem of sexual orientation not consistently being defined by researchers as including asexuality.
While some asexuals masturbate as a solitary form of release or have sex for the benefit of a romantic partner, others do not see above. The Kinsey Institute sponsored another small survey on the topic in , which found that self-identified asexuals "reported significantly less desire for sex with a partner, lower sexual arousability, and lower sexual excitation but did not differ consistently from non-asexuals in their sexual inhibition scores or their desire to masturbate".
Johnson, is explicitly devoted to asexuality in humans. She portrays them as invisible, "oppressed by a consensus that they are non-existent," and left behind by both the sexual revolution and the feminist movement.
Johnson argued that society either ignores or denies their existence or insists they must be ascetic for religious reasons, neurotic, or asexual for political reasons. In a study published in in volume five of Advances in the Study of Affect , as well as in another article using the same data and published in in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Michael D.
Storms of the University of Kansas outlined his own reimagining of the Kinsey scale. Whereas Kinsey measured sexual orientation based on a combination of actual sexual behavior and fantasizing and eroticism, Storms used only fantasizing and eroticism. Storms, however, placed hetero-eroticism and homo-eroticism on separate axes rather than at two ends of a single scale; this allows for a distinction between bisexuality exhibiting both hetero- and homo-eroticism in degrees comparable to hetero- or homosexuals, respectively and asexuality exhibiting a level of homo-eroticism comparable to a heterosexual and a level of hetero-eroticism comparable to a homosexual, namely, little to none.
This type of scale accounted for asexuality for the first time. In a study by Paula Nurius, which included subjects most of whom were students at various universities in the United States taking psychology or sociology classes , the two-dimensional fantasizing and eroticism scale was used to measure sexual orientation. Based on the results, respondents were given a score ranging from 0 to for hetero-eroticism and from 0 to for homo-eroticism.
Respondents who scored lower than 10 on both were labeled "asexual". Results showed that asexuals reported much lower frequency and desired frequency of a variety of sexual activities including having multiple partners, anal sexual activities, having sexual encounters in a variety of locations, and autoerotic activities.
A paper written by Karli June Cerankowski and Megan Milks, titled New Orientations: Asexuality and Its Implications for Theory and Practice , suggests that asexuality may be somewhat of a question in itself for the studies of gender and sexuality. The asexual movement challenges that assumption by challenging many of the basic tenets of pro-sex feminism [in which it is] already defined as repressive or anti-sex sexualities. This formula, if dissected scientifically and proven, would support researcher Simon LeVay 's blind study of the hypothalamus in gay men, women, and straight men, which indicates that there is a biological difference between straight men and gay men.
In , Cerankowski and Milks edited and published Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives , a collection of essays intended to explore the politics of asexuality from a feminist and queer perspective.
Each part contains two to three papers on a given aspect of asexuality research. One such paper is written by Ela Przybylo, another name that is becoming common in asexual scholarly literature. Her article, with regard to the Cerankowski and Milks anthology, focuses on accounts by self-identified male asexuals, with a particular focus on the pressures men experience towards having sex in dominant Western discourse and media.
Three men living in Southern Ontario, Canada, were interviewed in , and Przybylo admits that the small sample-size means that her findings cannot be generalized to a greater population in terms of representation, and that they are "exploratory and provisional", especially in a field that is still lacking in theorizations. Another of Przybylo's works, Asexuality and the Feminist Politics of "Not Doing It" , published in , takes a feminist lens to scientific writings on asexuality.
Pryzyblo argues that asexuality is made possible only through the Western context of "sexual, coital, and heterosexual imperatives". In this article, Przybylo once again asserts the understanding of asexuality as a cultural phenomenon, and continues to be critical of its scientific study. CJ DeLuzio Chasin states in Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential that academic research on asexuality "has positioned asexuality in line with essentialist discourses of sexual orientation" which is troublesome as it creates a binary between asexuals and persons who have been subjected to psychiatric intervention for disorders such as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
Chasin states that asexuality has the power to challenge commonplace discourse of the naturalness of sexuality, but that the unquestioned acceptance of its current definition does not allow for this. Chasin also argues there and elsewhere in Making Sense in and of the Asexual Community: Navigating Relationships and Identities in a Context of Resistance that is important to interrogate why someone might be distressed about low sexual desire.
Chasin further argues that clinicians have an ethical obligation to avoid treating low sexual desire per se as pathological, and to discuss asexuality as a viable possibility where relevant with clients presenting clinically with low sexual desire. Bogaert argues that understanding asexuality is of key importance to understanding sexuality in general. This definition of asexuality also makes clear this distinction between behavior and desire, for both asexuality and celibacy, although Bogaert also notes that there is some evidence of reduced sexual activity for those who fit this definition.
He further distinguishes between desire for others and desire for sexual stimulation, the latter of which is not always absent for those who identify as asexual, although he acknowledges that other theorists define asexuality differently and that further research needs to be done on the "complex relationship between attraction and desire". In an earlier article, Bogaert acknowledges that a distinction between behavior and attraction has been accepted into recent conceptualizations of sexual orientation, which aids in positioning asexuality as such.
An academic work dealing with the history of the asexual community is presently lacking. For some, being a part of a community is an important resource because they often report having felt ostracized. Some question the concept of online community, while others depend on the online asexual community heavily for support. Elizabeth Abbott posits that there has always been an asexual element in the population, but that asexual people kept a low profile.
While the failure to consummate marriage was seen as an insult to the sacrament of marriage in medieval Europe, and has sometimes been used as grounds for divorce or to rule a marriage void, asexuality, unlike homosexuality, has never been illegal, and it has usually gone unnoticed. However, in the 21st century, the anonymity of online communication and general popularity of social networking online has facilitated the formation of a community built around a common asexual identity.
Communities such as AVEN can be beneficial to those in search of answers to solve a crisis of identity with regard to their possible asexuality. Individuals go through a series of emotional processes that end with their identifying with the asexual community. They first realize that their sexual attractions differ from those of most of society.
This difference leads to questioning whether the way they feel is acceptable, and possible reasons for why they feel this way. Pathological beliefs tend to follow, in which, in some cases, they may seek medical help because they feel they have a disease. Self-understanding is usually reached when they find a definition that matches their feelings.
Asexuality communities provide support and information that allows newly identified asexuals to move from self-clarification to identifying on a communal level, which can be empowering, because they now have something to associate with, which gives normality to this overall socially-isolating situation.
Asexual organizations and other Internet resources play a key role in informing people about asexuality. The lack of research makes it difficult for doctors to understand the causation.
Like with any sexual orientation, most people who are asexual are self-identified. This can be a problem when asexuality is mistaken for an intimacy or relationship problem or for other symptoms that do not define asexuality.
There is also a significant population that either does not understand or does not believe in asexuality, which adds to the importance of these organizations to inform the general population; however, due to the lack of scientific fact on the subject, what these groups promote as information is often questioned.
The first was held at the World Pride in London. The final flag had been a popular candidate and had previously seen use in online forums outside of AVEN. The final vote was held on a survey system outside of AVEN where the main flag creation efforts were organized.
The flag colors have been used in artwork and referenced in articles about asexuality. The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.
Asexual Awareness Week occurs in the later half of October, and is created to celebrate and bring awareness to asexuality including gray asexuality. Studies have found no significant statistical correlation between religion and asexuality,  with asexuality occurring with equal prevalence in both religious and irreligious individuals. Because of the relatively recent application of the term asexuality , most religions do not have clear stances on it.
Christianity has traditionally revered celibacy which is not the same as asexuality ;  the apostle Paul , a lifelong unmarried celibate, has been described by some writers as asexual.
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Nonetheless, some Christians regard asexuality as imaginary or even immoral. Sexuality is a gift from God and thus a fundamental part of our human identity.
Those who repress their sexuality are not living as God created them to be: fully alive and well. As such, they're most likely unhappy. Both homosexual and heterosexual people thought of asexuals as not only cold, but also animalistic and unrestrained.
Asexuals also face prejudice from the LGBT community. In some jurisdictions, asexuals have legal protections. While Brazil bans since whatever pathologization or attempted treatment of sexual orientation by mental health professionals through the national ethical code,  the US state of New York has labeled asexuals as a protected class.
Asexual representation in the media is limited and rarely openly acknowledged or confirmed by creators or authors. Gilligan , the eponymous character of the s television series Gilligan's Island , would today be classified as asexual. Asexuality as a sexual identity, rather than as a biological entity, became more widely discussed in the media in the beginning of the twenty-first century. However, this representation has been questioned by members of the asexual community including AVEN founder, David Jay due to the episode concluding in the reveal that the man simply had a pituitary tumor that reduced his sex drive, and the woman was only pretending to be asexual to please him.
This has been further elaborated in the 4th season of the series and has been generally well accepted by the asexual community for its methods of positive representation. Media related to Human asexuality at Wikimedia Commons.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article is about humans who lack sexual attraction or interest in sexual activity. For the lack of romantic attraction, see Aromantic. For the lack of a gender, see Agender. For other uses, see Asexual. Lack of sexual attraction to others. Sexual orientation. Homosexuality Bisexuality pansexuality polysexuality Asexuality gray asexuality Demographics Biology Environment. Social attitudes. Prejudice , violence. Academic fields and discourse.
Queer studies Lesbian feminism Queer theory Transfeminism Lavender linguistics. See also: Romantic orientation. Main article: LGBT symbols. Main article: Discrimination against asexual people. Sexuality portal. Crooks; Karla Baur Our Sexuality. Cengage Learning. Retrieved January 4, Helm Sexuality Today: The Human Perspective 7 ed.
Journal of Sex Research. Contemporary Sexuality. Archived from the original on November 6, Sex and Society. Marshall Cavendish. Retrieved July 27, Varcarolis
Asexual People Can Have Sex Lives — & Here's What They're Like
Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a persistent lack of sexual attraction toward any gender. Aces can be any sex or gender or age or ethnic background or body type, can be rich or poor, can wear any clothing style, and can be any religion or political affiliation. They think of single-celled organisms in a petri dish. They think of a celibate monk on far off mountaintop.
They think of a genderless robot from outer space. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality. There are many reasons why an asexual person might do these things that do not require sexual attraction to be present. Do asexuals fall in love? Do asexuals have sex? Do asexuals masturbate? Do asexuals like pepperoni pizza? We are all individuals, with our own individual preferences and personalities, and it is generally impossible to make blanket statements about us.
That is, they strongly identify with being asexual, except for a few limited or infrequent experiences of sexual attraction. Gray-asexual people fall in between asexuality and non-asexuality.
In some cases, they experience sexual attraction only rarely. Demisexual people are only capable of feeling sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone. In many people, the sexual and romantic orientations are aligned, so people tend not to think about them being separate concepts. It is not uncommon for asexuals to experience romantic attraction. Romantic orientations are given names that parallel sexual orientations.
A significant number of asexuals also identify as aromantic, which means that they do not experience romantic attraction. Separating romantic and sexual attraction is not strictly limited to asexual people, however. For instance, it is possible for someone to be an aromantic heterosexual, or any other combination.
If you want to know if someone else is asexual, you have to talk to them about it. Home What Is Asexuality? What Is Asexuality? Who Is Asexual? In particular: Asexuality is not an abstinence pledge. Although there may be abstinent aces. Asexuality is not a synonym for celibacy. There are celibate aces and promiscuous aces and aces everywhere in between.
Asexuality is not a gender identity. Although there may be trans, non-binary, or genderqueer aces. Asexuality is not a disorder. Although there may be aces with physical or mental conditions. Asexuality is not a choice. Although not every ace is "born that way". Asexuality is not a hormone imbalance.
Although there may be aces with hormone issues. Asexuality is not a fear of sex or relationships. Although there may be aces who are afraid of or otherwise dislike sex or relationships. Attraction, Not Action Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality. How Can I Tell? Are you generally disinterested in sex? Is your interest in sex more scientific than emotional?
Do you feel left out or confused when others discuss sex? If you had sex, did you think it was dull or boring, and not the amazing experience other people made it out to be? Have you ever had to pretend to be interested in someone in order to fit in?